Boys think about one thing....(the dating message)

Its true.

Boys think about one thing.

Sports.

Seriously though, this coming week we'll be discussing dating, relationships and all that is involved with that whole bugaboo.

When I was in high school, thoughts of finding "the one" consumed my life at times, almost to the point of consistent distraction and/or occasional depression. Many young people look for someone to "complete" them, but the focus is all wrong. As Jesus says, "wisdom is proved right by her actions."  I focused constantly on what I didn't have, and I was usually miserable as a result. I so desperately wanted a girlfriend, but never got one at the time.  

Now I'm incredibly thankful it shook down that way.

Instead of looking for "the one", we should be trusting God to make us "be the one" for someone else...down the road. Instead of focusing on what we don't have (i.e. a boy/girl friend), God wants us to focus on what we do have (Jesus, the Spirit, godly friends, sports/the arts, activities, our church, etc) and celebrate those things, trusting God to provide "the one" at the right time.

This is a radical shift from celebrating selfishness to celebrating thankfulness, from being led by the flesh to being led by the Spirit, from demanding your inheritance now as opposed to letting it come at the right time.

You're not single because you're only nice to girls (or because you're "ugly").

You're single because singleness is actually a gift.  Singleness provides you time to focus on what's most important and to trust God to provide when God knows you are ready. 

Singleness allows us space to be reminded that who we are sexually is not our main descriptor in life.  

Singleness allows you time to answer the question, "Would you date....you?"  Are you honestly the kind of person, at your stage in life, who is ready to give themselves over to another person in a healthy way that eventually leads to marriage?  Would you date someone who is in the same place as you are right now (emotionally, spiritually, etc)?

If you're not ready to date "you", then what steps do you need to take now in order to develop qualities you want to see in your future spouse?  

How can you develop the qualities of a good mate now so that when you meet "the one", you're actually ready for it?

If you wait to date and focus on becoming the right person, you are able to let God be in control of your relationships. 

But what if you're already dating someone?  There is nothing wrong with dating at a young age.  Dating isn't wrong (God put that desire within us for a reason) but it is dangerous to do so at a young age.  The pitfalls are many, and very few emerge unscathed. If you are dating someone, boundaries need to be in place.  Boundaries establish value, not hindrance.  Purity is a blessing, not a burden.  

We'll post more about that next week!